To say the last two weeks of my life have been quite difficult is an understatement of epic proportions. Why are the last two weeks of summer so rough? I’ve heard lots of moms express this same frustration. It’s like we made it through the first six weeks or seven weeks somewhat unscathed and then out of nowhere this dark cloud just hovers, delivering with it whining, bored, discontent, mouthy children. Add in a major lifestyle change for our family and a breeding ground for the worst kind of doubt, anger, frustration and weakness appeared.
I’ve questioned every day if we have made the worst decision ever for our family, if our decision to live apart for a year may backfire big time. I’ve threatened to pack up this house and move to Dorothy’s backyard more times than I would like to admit. The old adage, “you’ve made your bed and now you’ve got to lie on it” has scrolled through my mind almost daily. We made this decision for the good of the children, but I’m afraid I may do more damage than good for them while we’re in this state! One child already goes to see a “therapist.” I should probably go ahead and make appointments for the rest of this crew.
If you want to feel good about your parenting, come hang out here for a little while! My fly off the handle episodes lately will make you feel like a super mom or dad. I mean telling a child to keep their Sonic cherry slush in the kitchen isn’t an unreasonable request, right? So when you hear the crushing sound of a styrofoam cup coming from your bedroom with light beige carpet, followed by the words, “Sorry, mom,” my first response should’ve been a calm oh no big deal. Well, total opposite in real life. Sweet child apologized and I kissed her and told her I loved her, but it’s very important to follow directions, yadda, yadda, yadda…Thank the Lord that we own a steam vac! A little hydrogen peroxide, some spray and wash and a few runs of the steam vac and no one will ever know the catastrophe of red syrup on light carpet ever happened.
School started this week and you can imagine the sigh of relief I breathed dropping them off on the first day. A sigh of relief for me and for them! They need the structure and I need the quiet. Tomorrow morning I am looking forward to dropping them off and having a day alone, inside the house to just relax, reflect and get some sort of plan in place to make the best use of my time this school year.
I always feel like the beginning of school is like New Year’s Day all over again – a chance to look back, evaluate and resolve to make life changes for the better. And after spending the summer surrounded by little people, with little routine, lots of stress, and lots of change, I need a new beginning! I am grateful for an opportunity to figure out how to do what we do differently – more simply – so that we can look back at the end of this craziness and be grateful for this time we’ve been given to truly trust the Lord in every moment and to see His hand at work in every little detail. I don’t want to look back and say, yeah that year really sucked! Rather, I want to remember this year as one where we experienced and acknowledged God’s faithfulness in it all.