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As some of you may be aware, my 5 year old, HarpAlyse, has been seeing a therapist/social worker for almost a year now. Last spring, Maj W was out of the country for a couple of months and HarpAlyse began to exhibit some concerning behaviors. To some parents they may not have been a big deal, but to us, parents of an older child on the Autism Spectrum, we wanted to be as proactive as possible with her. We wanted to be able to provide her with some tools to deal with her issues, but we also wanted to figure out how to make life work with her.
One of her biggest issues has been her ability to self regulate. What does that even mean? Most kids get mad, calm down and move on. HarpAlyse gets mad, can’t calm herself down, and doesn’t move on. At 4, she was regularly throwing all out temper tantrums – laying on the ground, screaming, kicking, throwing things, etc. We could let her do that for a bit and then attempt to pick her up to soothe her and she absolutely couldn’t not get herself to stop crying. No amount of holding, kissing, bribery, etc., could help her get off of the emotional extreme to which she had risen.
She was like a ticking time bomb! It got to the point where I wouldn’t leave the house with her unless I absolutely had to. She refused to go to her class at school on the mornings that I was there for work. My classroom was right next door to hers. She would fly off the handle with her friends over the tiniest of things. She spent lots of time in the office at school because she was such a distraction in her classroom when she would fall apart. Honestly, when we got her enrolled in PreK at the elementary school here, I just knew she’d get kicked out before Christmas break over her wild emotions.
I give all that back story because one of the very first tools her therapist taught her was various forms of relaxation breathing. Bubble breathing and Pizza breathing are the two that come to mind immediately. Essentially, Bubble Breathing is slow shallow blowing, like one would use to blow bubbles through a bubble wand. Pizza Breathing is deeper, more intense breathing like one would use to cool off a piece of hot pizza. With HarpAlyse, we would recommend or even demonstrate these for her when she would get into tantrum mode as a way to help her calm down. A few times she would tell me she only does that at Mrs. Jane’s office! I think she missed the point, right?
When I was offered the opportunity to read this sweet book, My Magic Breath, I was glad to say yes! We can never have enough tools in our parenting toolbox! Right?!
My Magic Breath was written by Nick Ortner and Alison Taylor as a tool to help kids “process their emotions and consciously breathe.” This sweet and very colorful book, illustrated by Michelle Polizzi, journeys through a day with a young, dark haired girl. The girl is encouraged to think about things in her day that have made her happy. Then she is instructed to take a deep breath in and blow out all those happy thoughts. Later, she’s told to think about things in her day that have made her sad or unhappy, take a deep breath in and blow out those sad thoughts. The act of taking deep breaths and being mindful of her thoughts allows her to be more relaxed and at peace. The goal is that at the end of the day, she’ll be able to take one final breath for the day, a deep yawn, and have a good night’s rest, free from the anxiety and emotions of the day.
The day after I received this book for review, my 3 year old preschool class performed in our little school’s annual music and arts show. One of my little boys was overwhelmed during the time between when his mom dropped him off in the classroom and when we walked onto the stage. As I lined them up, I had all my little 3 and 4 year olds stand in front of me and I gently told them we were going to blow our fears away. We took a deep breath in and then I told them to blow all their fears and nerves away. We did this a couple of times and the calm that covered their little faces was obvious.
There is power in slowing down our breathing and changing our focus. It works for kids and grownups! Maybe you have a child in your home or class who struggles with anxiety or fears or who, like my daughter, struggles to get her emotions under control. If so, My Magic Breath would be a great tool for you to use with him or her.
Pre-Order your own copy of My Magic Breath: Finding Calm Through Mindful Breathing from Amazon, today!
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